It's been awhile, hasn't it?
Well, get ready for a rant kids.
KK so far has been inviting, alluring, amazing and at the same time, lonely, miserable, annoying and more or less stressful if I'm being honest. Especially if you have Pediatrics as your first posting - if you have that and you've graduated from an all-international university that resides in Russia, Egypt, Indonesia, Ukraine, etc, then you might consider yourself to be literally screwed.
Although yes, there has been several exceptions to the 'all-international university' rule, there's also a vast majority of people I've met who've graduated from these universities, and found it somewhat difficult to cope and pass their exams, thus having themselves extended in this current posting. Yours truly also got extended because hey, I graduated from Egypt and let me be frank, I for one, am quite shitty/bad at OSCEs. Always have, always will be and so they're a high chance that I might get extended again in Paeds for the 3rd time.
Apparently if you fail your CEX 4 times in a row, you have to be transferred to another hospital(of your choice) and repeat your Peads posting again. If all goes well and you passed with flying colours, you can then opt to go back to KK, Sabah or stay at the current hospital you've been going to and finish the remaining postings you have left.
Well, I can tell you now that I have thought about quitting numerous times within this period I've been in Peads. Most senior posters have told me that Pediatrics is quite alright but as a first posting, I ultimately feel like this is the shit I have to get myself through and in doing so, I can feel my tolerance towards this 'job' I have, to be slowly reducing. I am not like all the other housemans who are 'ready to work' or willing to give themselves away. Hell, I'd admit that I am bloody selfish to think of myself more than that of my patients. I mean yes, a person is able to give themselves away as much as they can but to the brink as to which another individual suffers in terms of not being able to take care of themselves? That in my opinion, is total and utter bull.
But you know, the Malaysian system and all it's fuck uppery.
Anything for this complete shit in the making.
A friend of mine told me that I'm being too selfish. That people are suffering more than I am and they're the ones with the bigger issues, not me. Please, cry me a fucking river. People have different tolerance levels and being in a field that I generally have no interest in, is an excuse I find all the more applicable in this situation. Truth be told, I now have so much anger because I feel like I can't cope although I've been here for approximately 4 months now.
Everything is still a blur.
Everything is still somewhat vague.
Everything feels like it's a fucking mess.
And I hate myself for being placed in this shitty situation with this nagging voice inside my head that keeps telling me that I should've quit 3 years ago while I still had the chance but unfortunately, Asian families and their unfortunate standards.
Rant over.
Well, get ready for a rant kids.
KK so far has been inviting, alluring, amazing and at the same time, lonely, miserable, annoying and more or less stressful if I'm being honest. Especially if you have Pediatrics as your first posting - if you have that and you've graduated from an all-international university that resides in Russia, Egypt, Indonesia, Ukraine, etc, then you might consider yourself to be literally screwed.
Although yes, there has been several exceptions to the 'all-international university' rule, there's also a vast majority of people I've met who've graduated from these universities, and found it somewhat difficult to cope and pass their exams, thus having themselves extended in this current posting. Yours truly also got extended because hey, I graduated from Egypt and let me be frank, I for one, am quite shitty/bad at OSCEs. Always have, always will be and so they're a high chance that I might get extended again in Paeds for the 3rd time.
Apparently if you fail your CEX 4 times in a row, you have to be transferred to another hospital(of your choice) and repeat your Peads posting again. If all goes well and you passed with flying colours, you can then opt to go back to KK, Sabah or stay at the current hospital you've been going to and finish the remaining postings you have left.
Well, I can tell you now that I have thought about quitting numerous times within this period I've been in Peads. Most senior posters have told me that Pediatrics is quite alright but as a first posting, I ultimately feel like this is the shit I have to get myself through and in doing so, I can feel my tolerance towards this 'job' I have, to be slowly reducing. I am not like all the other housemans who are 'ready to work' or willing to give themselves away. Hell, I'd admit that I am bloody selfish to think of myself more than that of my patients. I mean yes, a person is able to give themselves away as much as they can but to the brink as to which another individual suffers in terms of not being able to take care of themselves? That in my opinion, is total and utter bull.
But you know, the Malaysian system and all it's fuck uppery.
Anything for this complete shit in the making.
A friend of mine told me that I'm being too selfish. That people are suffering more than I am and they're the ones with the bigger issues, not me. Please, cry me a fucking river. People have different tolerance levels and being in a field that I generally have no interest in, is an excuse I find all the more applicable in this situation. Truth be told, I now have so much anger because I feel like I can't cope although I've been here for approximately 4 months now.
Everything is still a blur.
Everything is still somewhat vague.
Everything feels like it's a fucking mess.
And I hate myself for being placed in this shitty situation with this nagging voice inside my head that keeps telling me that I should've quit 3 years ago while I still had the chance but unfortunately, Asian families and their unfortunate standards.
Rant over.
