Lately, I've been getting a superfluous amount of thoughts and daydreams bordering on depression and I don't really know how to react to it. I feel like I've been pushed into a corner, that I've reached a dead end to what might seem like a plausibly good life in the next few years to come, as though there might be a light at the end of my tunnel, so to speak.

As of now, emptiness seeps me and I've never felt this sort of uncertainty for a very long time. The last I've felt this was particularly 4 years ago and that was me verging on desolation and depression and the only outlets I had weren't really smart nor reliable ones to begin with.

To be frank, all I want to do is to just dissipate and disappear.
To just not be here.
But can I ever really just do that?

First

I sometimes wonder if people still do think about their first love.

Because I can't help but remember those dimples of yours when you smile.
Can't help but remember how you're always asking what I'm thinking.
Can't help but remember how you'd laugh at all my stupid, silly jokes.
Can't help but remember every single little detail about you.

And sometimes I wonder if people still hurt whenever they do think of their first love.
Because I do.