Band-Aid

It's been 3 weeks since my dad called, text-ed or even replied to any of our(mine and my siblings') emails and that seems like a first. My dad has never let an email slip through his fingers unless he's upset/disappointed/angry with us kids about something or maybe just about anything. And I believe, he might have taken this silent treatment of his to a much higher level.

Do I think what I did was wrong?

No, I hardly doubt it. But if it makes my dad turn that frown of his, upside down and have himself turned back to his jolly ol' self again, I'd would gladly admit that I'm not exactly one of the brightest, prettiest nor the most socially-inept in his bunch of offsprings. If it makes him feel any better, I'd do just about anything for him. But now, I wonder if he knew how much this sadness I have manifested in me, is starting to consume me whole.

I'm just disappointed with myself as much as he might be with me, so go figure.

Inconclusive

Lately, I've been trying to avoid emotions that I don't think I necessary need. That I could probably ignore and live without or maybe to a certain extent, pretend that I don't actually give a rat's ass. So far, the results are somewhat stagnant per say.  My school curriculum is literally starting to suffocate me, what with the countless amount of lectures and notes one needs to remember on Internal Medicine. It's not that I mind doing this everyday but with so many things to be done and information to read on, I feel like I can't actually cope. My concept and mechanics on adaptation is somehow lagging in that sense.

Procrastination has always been a friend of mine but it looks like he might want to stay a wee bit longer than usual and I don't think I have enough space in me to accommodate another defect I find none at all amusing. I have too many to count thus far and adding another one just might tip the scales and send me back a step or two in the academic department.

I'm just drained right now. All I want to do is sleep for the next few days, uninterrupted. If only a dream, could be a wish come true.

No Room For Doubts

My mind wants a few things to be settled, taken care of but there's too many issues to choose from. Alas, I am very much preoccupied at the current moment to grasp each of the following thoughts floating in the depths of my mind. Maybe I should stop complaining, wishing and hoping that things will change with time and instead, work on whatever I could muster. I need to start sacrificing my freedom and leisure time for some deserved results.

Lethargic

It's only been the 2nd day of school and holy cow, it's been really tiring. From 8am till 3pm with a couple of breaks comprising of half an hours' time in between, things now have been at a much blurred pace. But I got to admit, having patients to examine on rather than memorizing a shitload of facts and trivia is ten times better than anything. I just got to get used to this and hopefully I shall.

Her Morning Elegance

Say 'Hello' to my little friend.

So I have a few hours left to spare before I find myself at KLIA,
getting ready to board on an airplane and now, I feel
a slight tinge of sadness within me.

Bah,
humbug.

Gagging Order

Sometimes I wonder if karma really does exist or whether it's just a term, a meaning that people purposely create for the sake of not allowing the detrimental faults of all humans to lavish and flourish on forth. One of the most common and very much sensible understanding of the word is a belief that ones' action will lead to ones' inevitable consequence. But do you personally believe in it? I do, as superstitious as that sounds.

It's not because I accentuate karma with another worldly cosmic force that sends an apocalyptic sign so we puny humans could stop, indifferently. No, I honestly regard karma as a way to comprehend and consider the loopholes and outlines of whatever calamity we're in more vigilantly, in comparison to previous other attempts we've been throughout because if not, then what is the purpose of history all this while?

I've been wanting to get something off my chest but I haven't been able to due to unforeseen circumstances or due to the fact that I'd like to avoid myself from sounding much of a jackass, what with my opinions and views on certain issues being declared selflessly. I can be very stubborn and intolerable towards the actions nor words of another and sometimes, these thoughts of mine would unfortunately, burst at the seams with an opposing remark to thwart the individual's unfiltered reflections.

But why don't we just let things go down a notch and let others carry on with their lives. As much as I'd like to know, worry and care about them, I'd would want to lead a life without all this drama polluting my bubble-laden atmosphere.

Stoned

These past few days have been a blur;

My aunt on my mother's side passed away,

My uncle on my father's side passed away,

A friend(who just turned 21) of mine got married and

another friend(who is 20) of mine got engaged.

Why is everything and everyone moving so fast nowadays?

I feel like I'm the only one in a fucking twilight zone.
Fuck.