I haven't been able to sleep well these last few days and although a big reason as to why I'm experiencing this unwanted torment is due to my over-zealous sleeping pattern that has gotten haywire to the point where I'll sleep for two to three hours a day, it is also due to my mind constantly playing tricks on me, mostly in the middle of these humid, summer nights.
Flashes are what I would get when thoughts of you would start to be difficult for me to ignore and sometimes I wonder if you'd encounter the same exact effect as I have. Do we even have the same remembrance of what happened during those long nights? Do you remember us being guided by those sepia-toned lights while we listened along to Bon Iver's Holocene, playing serenely in the background?
Maybe my mind might have been over-dramatizing those bits and pieces many would've found to be trivial throughout the whole car ride home but I remember listening to Justin Vernon's vocals being more refined, crystal-clear than all of the other times I've replayed that particular track, over and over the past 6 months' prior. It was as though I could finally understand that exceptional feeling he was trying to relay towards his listeners and it was a mixture of emotions, all blended into one and it was on such an occasion as that night, was I able to finally comprehend each of those muted feelings without a need to google nor wiki the meaning behind that special, substantial track.
As I savored this feeling and moment of unspoken clairvoyance that I've suddenly stumbled upon, not wanting it to leave my whole being just yet, I realized of how foolish I've been then. Why? Because I knew not many people have been able to understand nor appreciate the many layers of certainty I was finally exposed to. And so I smiled because I felt grateful for being able to be there, at that time, at that moment, with you.
But do you know what was the craziest thing?
When I looked into the window's reflection, I could see you smiling as though you too, understood the significance of that momentous occasion, where the silence in between us filled up the ambiguous spaces that were left for us to finally make amends to the past 8 months we've been putting ourselves through.
It was then that I knew, what you also knew;
That everything between you and I, just felt so right.
Flashes are what I would get when thoughts of you would start to be difficult for me to ignore and sometimes I wonder if you'd encounter the same exact effect as I have. Do we even have the same remembrance of what happened during those long nights? Do you remember us being guided by those sepia-toned lights while we listened along to Bon Iver's Holocene, playing serenely in the background?
Maybe my mind might have been over-dramatizing those bits and pieces many would've found to be trivial throughout the whole car ride home but I remember listening to Justin Vernon's vocals being more refined, crystal-clear than all of the other times I've replayed that particular track, over and over the past 6 months' prior. It was as though I could finally understand that exceptional feeling he was trying to relay towards his listeners and it was a mixture of emotions, all blended into one and it was on such an occasion as that night, was I able to finally comprehend each of those muted feelings without a need to google nor wiki the meaning behind that special, substantial track.
As I savored this feeling and moment of unspoken clairvoyance that I've suddenly stumbled upon, not wanting it to leave my whole being just yet, I realized of how foolish I've been then. Why? Because I knew not many people have been able to understand nor appreciate the many layers of certainty I was finally exposed to. And so I smiled because I felt grateful for being able to be there, at that time, at that moment, with you.
But do you know what was the craziest thing?
When I looked into the window's reflection, I could see you smiling as though you too, understood the significance of that momentous occasion, where the silence in between us filled up the ambiguous spaces that were left for us to finally make amends to the past 8 months we've been putting ourselves through.
It was then that I knew, what you also knew;
That everything between you and I, just felt so right.
2 comments:
sometimes what we think we really want, we don't. and trust me, most of time, we don't really want what we think we desire.
some says life is a series of trade offs. for every benefit gained, we usually forfeited some cost.
Unfortunately,
that's true.
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