There's this speck of insecurity that has grown into turmoil within the pits of my insides and with it, I begin to wonder if I am capable of getting anything right.
It has been a while since my emotions have been smacked right in the kisser and it wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling for one who has been looking at things/situations/people through rose-tinted glasses for long periods at a time. Somehow Malaysia has the capabilities of lowering my guards when it comes to this sudden (un)appreciative epiphany that happens at every end of the academic year.
My summer holidays thus far has been bittersweet - more non-requested responsibilities, unpredictable life lessons and incomprehensible emotional fuckery that I've unfortunately let myself entertain long enough this current month. Apparently convincing myself that '2 more years of med school is going to go by fast' is much, much more difficult than I thought. Somehow my thought process has somewhat omitted that following fact and the idea of me starting up school, being back there and etc, makes me all the more nervous than ever but I shan't think of it no more. If I could survive 4 years of it, what would 2 more years of it make, am I right?
Besides, there this part of me that can't wait to immerse myself in school, to get distracted with books, medical knowledge and all that kind of hubbub. Forget past events, past troubles and just focus on the present and plan for the future. That's how it's going to be for the rest of my days, I suppose.
It has been a while since my emotions have been smacked right in the kisser and it wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling for one who has been looking at things/situations/people through rose-tinted glasses for long periods at a time. Somehow Malaysia has the capabilities of lowering my guards when it comes to this sudden (un)appreciative epiphany that happens at every end of the academic year.
My summer holidays thus far has been bittersweet - more non-requested responsibilities, unpredictable life lessons and incomprehensible emotional fuckery that I've unfortunately let myself entertain long enough this current month. Apparently convincing myself that '2 more years of med school is going to go by fast' is much, much more difficult than I thought. Somehow my thought process has somewhat omitted that following fact and the idea of me starting up school, being back there and etc, makes me all the more nervous than ever but I shan't think of it no more. If I could survive 4 years of it, what would 2 more years of it make, am I right?
Besides, there this part of me that can't wait to immerse myself in school, to get distracted with books, medical knowledge and all that kind of hubbub. Forget past events, past troubles and just focus on the present and plan for the future. That's how it's going to be for the rest of my days, I suppose.
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