"You know if being a doctor didn't work out for you, it's not the end of the world," he replied.
"There's still so many other contributions you'd be able to give back to society and after getting to know you more and more, I don't doubt that you're capable of doing so and more because you're a beautiful soul Ika. You out of all people should know that," he said and that made me smile with elation.
Recently we had to write down a quote next to our yearbook picture for graduation and to be honest, it seemed like a surreal experience. Finally, after 6 years of going through the same encounters of depression and elation(all exam-related events really), we're already putting an end to all that misery and going out into the big world, facing the real-life challenges we're meant to face(but this is pretty much a less depressing version of what's to be really expected of a Malaysian houseman).
But anyways, 5 more months till graduation and knowing how close I am to finally ending my undergraduate years is literally scaring the shit out of me. A friend and I were conversing the other day on how our previous seniors were able to withstand the working life with great adversity and admirability because let's be honest, any graduate who didn't come from the Malaysian system themselves will face some sort of shitty encounter - be it from the people within the system or outside the system(aka the general public) and how the actual system really is filled with loopholes, faulty implementations, rules and regulations so believe you me when I tell you that everything is at stake when you've sworn yourself to become a physician in a country like Malaysia.
So while we were conversing, the subject of how a few female seniors of ours had actually stepped down from the fulfillment of being a houseman arose and it's no lie, the numbers have somewhat increased with each passing year. From one's perspective, it might not seem like a big deal because these females are those who've settled down, have kids of their own and are married to husbands with a stable financial income - for them to settle down is a no brainer - but there have been a few stories floating around where a few of them dropped out of the program because of their incapability to adapt to the 'dog-eat-dog' concept established. Some even gotten severely depressed and checked themselves into their respectively psychiatric wards due to the vulnerable state they've been in and it's not really surprising when you think about it as physicians are usually one of the major occupants who bring themselves to get checked in.
Which brings me to my next question - Am I good enough to get through my housemanship years and later on get myself into a Master's program either back in Malaysia or elsewhere? I think I've frequently pondered over this question countless of times, to the point where my mind tires itself with repetition. So far what I've concluded is that if my housemanship years weren't as to what I've expected or to put it plainly, a strenuous, wasteful time for me, I then might opt to take another course altogether and see where that'll lead me but of course there's the financial issue to dwell upon as well(which would be for another day because my brain can only take so much serious thinking in a week). But of course, that's after 2 years of my housemanship to really consider where I'll finally want to put myself through.
For now, my yearbook quote should be the one thing I should be thinking over and to that, I shall.
"There's still so many other contributions you'd be able to give back to society and after getting to know you more and more, I don't doubt that you're capable of doing so and more because you're a beautiful soul Ika. You out of all people should know that," he said and that made me smile with elation.
***
Recently we had to write down a quote next to our yearbook picture for graduation and to be honest, it seemed like a surreal experience. Finally, after 6 years of going through the same encounters of depression and elation(all exam-related events really), we're already putting an end to all that misery and going out into the big world, facing the real-life challenges we're meant to face(but this is pretty much a less depressing version of what's to be really expected of a Malaysian houseman).
But anyways, 5 more months till graduation and knowing how close I am to finally ending my undergraduate years is literally scaring the shit out of me. A friend and I were conversing the other day on how our previous seniors were able to withstand the working life with great adversity and admirability because let's be honest, any graduate who didn't come from the Malaysian system themselves will face some sort of shitty encounter - be it from the people within the system or outside the system(aka the general public) and how the actual system really is filled with loopholes, faulty implementations, rules and regulations so believe you me when I tell you that everything is at stake when you've sworn yourself to become a physician in a country like Malaysia.
So while we were conversing, the subject of how a few female seniors of ours had actually stepped down from the fulfillment of being a houseman arose and it's no lie, the numbers have somewhat increased with each passing year. From one's perspective, it might not seem like a big deal because these females are those who've settled down, have kids of their own and are married to husbands with a stable financial income - for them to settle down is a no brainer - but there have been a few stories floating around where a few of them dropped out of the program because of their incapability to adapt to the 'dog-eat-dog' concept established. Some even gotten severely depressed and checked themselves into their respectively psychiatric wards due to the vulnerable state they've been in and it's not really surprising when you think about it as physicians are usually one of the major occupants who bring themselves to get checked in.
Which brings me to my next question - Am I good enough to get through my housemanship years and later on get myself into a Master's program either back in Malaysia or elsewhere? I think I've frequently pondered over this question countless of times, to the point where my mind tires itself with repetition. So far what I've concluded is that if my housemanship years weren't as to what I've expected or to put it plainly, a strenuous, wasteful time for me, I then might opt to take another course altogether and see where that'll lead me but of course there's the financial issue to dwell upon as well(which would be for another day because my brain can only take so much serious thinking in a week). But of course, that's after 2 years of my housemanship to really consider where I'll finally want to put myself through.
For now, my yearbook quote should be the one thing I should be thinking over and to that, I shall.
1 comment:
Good luck
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