لا تحزن

My mom called a moment ago and I don't know why but I could suddenly feel myself about to fall apart at the seams. I tried very hard not to sound too melancholic nor cry while I was on the phone with her but it was a tad bit hard. Sometimes I wonder why she has to put up with a daughter who keeps on bringing this depressing vibe with her, everytime and everywhere she goes even if we are miles apart. I feel bad for her for having me as a daughter.

The only thing that's preventing me from doing so is my good amount of common sense telling me that if I did let myself go at this point into the pits of despair, I'll probably fuck up everything in the process and make myself go through the same dingy, dark place I'd been to a summer ago.

And for fuck's sake,
I do not want to go back there again.
Looks like I have to bottle this up and hope it won't lead to another meltdown.