Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Lost & Found

Numerous calls, texts and countless number of IMs were sent to you but you've hardly replied to any of them and now I'm starting to wonder if what happened between us was all a dream, a figment of my imagination, a thought I purposely made up to have it play on a constant loop. My mind is now a battlefield that I alone must trudge through with a nagging voice within me, contradicting every positive thought or action I'd like to somehow comprehend. Things aren't exactly how I'd imagined them to be thus far and confusion is taking me as it's hostage for the time being.

Yes, I admit I've forgotten about you(temporarily, maybe) but now, it is he who has occupied my subconscious mind. That night when it happened, it was obvious that both of us longed for some sort of connection. Him missing the love of his life, someone who he has not seen for almost a full year, separated by distance of more than 5000 miles and I, longing to feel something, anything.

Loneliness has a way of making us mere simpletons to be in a much complicated, complex position. Instead of thinking with a realistic mindset and pure logic by the side, we succumb ourselves to the petty, trivial needs of our emotions. I am a prime example of the aforementioned concept and let me tell you that the outcome so far has been a bitch. The relationship status between he and I has changed, soiled to the point that even I can't assimilate. Are we friends or aren't we?

The lines that were drawn, clear from the very start are now starting to become blurry, vague and I'm beginning to wonder if this transgression I've committed would soon come to an end. Because as much as I don't seem to care, as much as I pretend that everything is fine, know that this is starting to tear me up inside, more than what it appears to be.

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