Mute

All day today, I could feel myself unsatisfied with the honest statement you gave this morning. Not because it was a scantily clad lie you fabricated to make me look all the more revolting but because within those written words of yours, I knew there was a certain degree of sincerity being uttered. With much indifference on your part, you were just fulfilling your role as a friend who was there in the need of another, believing that only with responsibility and a hint of frankness, can you get me to accept the full swing of things.

"Do you know what's your problem? You're in love with the idea of love. How grandiose, how amazing, how enthralling this feeling can be. How earth shattering it is to have someone who could love you and you loving him, whole-heartedly. 

 But once something happens, once someone starts making a move on the whole situation, you freak out. You start thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea to begin with, that maybe you and him might not have anything in common, that all this is just going to require more commitment and more hard work. Well wake up and smell the coffee, a relationship is an equivalent of that.

  Look, I'm not trying to discourage you from liking or having crushes on people but before you get yourself worked up on any kind of love fest(and I mean, REALLY REALLY liking someone), just chill out and think it through. If you're going to go through the same cycle of liking, realizing and eventually hating, I suggest you swear off all the boys found there. Make friends, be friends and if it happens, it happens. Just take your time, there's no need to rush.

We're only 21, you and I. If there's one thing we haven't done, we haven't seen, it's definitely the whole world and everything else in it. So just enjoy and live in the now, okay?"

 Even with all those sentences and words going against me, I have to admit that I miss you. I miss my family. I miss everything else in Malaysia. I miss being a goddamn local instead of a foreigner in a distant, misunderstood country. I just miss being surrounded with people that matter.