"What's your favourite word?" he asked and I, the girl who is always spontaneous and quick to answer any kind of question, no matter how silly nor serious it was, came to a still. I could feel a rush of blood to my head overcoming me, causing my ears to ring with such tremendous volume. But I knew one word that represented me, that spoke of my character with such clarity.
"Ambivalent. Ambivalent is my favourite word because I've always been able to identify myself with it." He merely acknowledge my answer and we continued on our conversation with awkward pauses in between, trying our best to conceal the manifesting doubts we had from within. At one point, the silence which crept behind us, oh-so-slowly, began to impede, causing us to realize that we were both exasperated, suffocating from our own hopes and expectations of this. My eyes bore onto my computer screen as I started contemplating on what I should be doing, on what righteous act my heart is asking me to act upon. And so I did.
"Can we just be friends?" I asked.
A fleeting moment passed and hesitantly but finally, he said yes.
At that moment, I didn't care about what he felt for me or what his feelings were, no.
In all honesty, I'm glad that I've finally gotten my freedom back.
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